Stress can mean different things to different people.  People have different feelings about it.  Stress is something that is in every ones day to day life but people handle it in different ways.  What can be stressful to one person may not be stressful to another.

Various different factors in our life can produce stress.  You may be worrying about your job, finances, moving house or a relationship.  Perhaps you are about to sit your exams and need to get good grades for that much-wanted place at University.

Do you suffer from stress overload which is caused when you encounter too much stress or do you have the correct levels of stress?

Some of the questions you must ask yourself are:-

• Do you suffer from anxiety or panic attacks?  During these attacks the brain releases adrenaline which makes your heart beat faster causing a rapid heartbeat or palpitations.
• Do you have a feeling of being constantly pressured, hassled, and hurried?
• Do you find yourself snapping at family and friends or getting angry if somebody says something that you do not agree with?
• Do you find yourself rushing to the toilet more frequently or experiencing other physical symptoms such as stomach problems, headaches or even chest pains?
• Have your allergic reactions increased; have your asthma attacks or eczema got worse?
• Do you find it more difficult to fall asleep or are you waking frequently in the night?
• Are you drinking more alcohol than usual, smoking more or eating more?

These are all the classic symptoms off too much stress.  If you do not manage your stress the symptoms can go beyond your control and you may then need to seek medical advice.

In order to avoid stress overload you need to try to keep your stress levels under control.  Here are some tips that may help:-

*You are not superhuman; you cannot do everything.  Establish the things that you can do and what can be put off until a later date.  If you need help, ask for it.

*Be more assertive.  Do not take on any additional work, stand up for yourself and tell your boss if are already overworked.

*Talk to your family or friends.  If you have something that is bothering you talking about it will help to alleviate the stress.  I was always told that a problem shared was a problem halved.  Maybe that problem is not as bad as you first thought.

*Relax more.  Wind down in the evening with some light music and maybe a glass of wine or relax in a nice warm bubble bath.

*Get a good night sleep.  Switch off the television and curl up under your duvet.

You have the ability to control your stress.  Think about what causes it and what you can do to alleviate it.

Feel free to use this article but please leave this bio in tact:
Dawn Robertshaw has written numerous articles and ebooks on coping with life in the 21st century. For more free articles, tips, advice and a range of health and relationship targeted information products in written and audio form for immediate download visit us at: www.inthe21stcentury.com

Several years ago, I worked with a very handsome guy whom I was attracted too.  We flirted with each other quite frequently around the workplace.  But, we both knew that it would not go any further because we worked together and relationships do not always work out when you work at the same firm. 

Eventually, I left the firm.  I decided that I was going to ask him out.  Yes, I did have a fear of being rejected.  I had seen photographs of his ex wife and she was very beautiful.  I could not compete with that.  Why would he be interested in me? I am not saying that I am an ugly duckling, but I think that I do fall short in the looks department.  I had to know whether he felt the same way about me as I did about him.

So, what did I do?  I went out with my sister for an evening and talked it over with her.  She told me that I should contact him and try to arrange a date.  After several glasses of wine I plucked up the courage to telephone him.  Boy was I glad when I got his answering machine!  I left a short message on his answering machine asking him to contact me if he wanted to go out with me sometime.

After a couple of days, he did contact me and we arranged to meet up.  We have been happily married for over ten years.  If I had not plucked up the courage to telephone him would my life have turned out differently?  Who knows, maybe he would have telephoned me eventually.

Does this all sound familiar to you?  A fear of rejection is a feeling that has affected most of us at some time in our life.

Have you?

• Watched a girl or boy in your schoolroom and tried to pluck up the courage to ask them out;
• Watched the clock whilst hoping that your date actually shows up;
• Been dumped by your first love and felt that you are inadequate and will not find someone else;
• Not gone for a promotion because you do not think that you are good enough;
• Kept quite when people around you are discussing a subject just in case you make yourself look silly?

Someone who is worried about how they are perceived is in danger of making their own life a misery because they will feel that they can no longer speak their own mind.  This normally occurs with the younger generations who crave attention and acceptance so they copy their peers by dressing, talking or acting like them so that they do not get rejected by them.

In conclusion, someone who fears rejection will ultimately be rejected by the people they want to please and who love them dearly.  A person who has the inclination to please others will soon get absorbed into a hard cycle of rejection.  Their behaviour will keep the people they care about alienated from them.  They see this as rejection and then the cycle continues.  As I did, you have to learn to break the cycle to beat the fear of rejection to secure happiness.

Online dating is being used more than ever before?  If we go back over the past few years, people did not want to put their profile online because they were afraid that if they met someone through a website they were meeting someone who was desperate. 

There are many reasons why online dating appeals to so many people:-

*They can do it from their home.  A single, and maybe lonely, person living on their own would welcome this because they can date safely, without having to leave their home.  He or she may have lots of married and not many single friends.  Going out to nightclubs may not be an option.  This way they can strike up a relationship in complete safety.

*They can do it from their office.  Many professionals just do not have the time to go out to find Mr or Mrs Right but do have the time to work online.

*They can contact and engage as many people as time will allow in their online chat.  If you are shy or maybe embarrassed about your looks this may appeal to you, you can talk online to as many people as you want.  Perhaps you get tongue-tied or perhaps you do not feel comfortable striking up a conversation.  Online, you can think about what you are going to say before you type your reply out.

*They can qualify those that interest them and disqualify those that do not.  You decide on various attributes of your ideal partner; their age, nationality, height, weight, and eye colour, whether they smoke and even their profession.  You can strike up an online conversation with people that you have hobbies and interests in common and get to know them a bit better.  However, the more specific you are with your criteria, the less contacts you will have.  But when someone does contact you they will more likely fit the criteria that you are looking for.

Be honest when you put your profile up on the Internet or it could come back to haunt you!  Imagine the scenario;- your prospective partner reads your fantasy profile; you are exactly what they are looking for and they have fallen head over heels in love with you.  Have you thought how you are going to talk your way out of the web of deceit that you have started?

Put up a few photographs of yourself and then write a bit about yourself, your age, where you are from, hobbies and interests and why you are looking for a date online.  Perhaps you are a highflying executive in the city or you have your own business and do not get any time to go out to meet people.  Your photographs could be your selling point. 

As of September 2006, 1.09 billion people use the Internet according to Internet World Stats.  You might find your perfect partner out there.

When I am feeling a bit down and things are getting on top of me I find myself comfort eating.  How can I stop?

A problem shared is a problem halved.  Talk it over with a close friend or family member and it will not seem as bad as you may think.  If you find yourself over eating on chocolate, cakes and other fattening foods stock up on healthy snacks like carrots, cucumber and low fat foods.  Exercise regularly, it will help to reduce your stress.

I have been to a few parties recently and have put on some weight.  What is the best way to lose it?

Aim to lose the weight slowly as it has more chance of staying off. 

• Eat a well balanced diet with lots of fresh fruit and vegetables; 
• Opt for low fat foods to help reduce your calorie intake;
• Exercise regularly;
• Drink plenty of water, the recommended amount is 8 glasses a day;
• Cut down on your alcohol intake.

If you have a look around the shopping malls you will see that there are lots of advertisements for gifts for your Valentine.  The question is which one do you buy?

How well do you know your Valentine?  Have you been together days, weeks, months or years?  What you spend your money on may be dependent on the length of your relationship.

I admit that I am a bit of a romantic.  I like to spoil my husband at opportune moments.  I have cooked him 3 course gourmet meals, massaged him after a weary day at work and we have been known to share a bubble bath complete with a nice cold glass of white wine.  I have put together my list of romantic gift ideas for you and your loved one to make Valentines Day a special occasion for you both.

Flowers always get received well.  But, you do not have to spend a small fortune on a dozen red roses:-

*A single red rose is just as welcome and some women feel that it is also very
romantic.  If you feel like spending a little bit more why not team it with a
cute teddy bear, box of chocolates or even her favorite perfume.

*As an alternative to the red rose why not buy a potted plant;

*Seeds or bulbs.  You can plant these in the garden together and enjoy the color when they flower

*Artificial Flowers are a good alternative, particularly if your Valentine has an
allergic reaction to pollen!

*Make up a gardening hamper with a book on gardening, some seeds and bulbs,
a pair of gloves and maybe a voucher offering your services

A vacation or a weekend away is an excellent idea.  But, you may need to discuss it with your partner first as they may have work or family commitments that cannot be rearranged.  You also need to check that they are fine with the sleeping arrangements, particularly if you have not been together long.  They may not wish to share a room with you so early on in the relationship.

Can you afford the trip?  If you invite your valentine away then he/she may assume that you are paying.  Make sure that you make it clear to them what you are expecting them to pay towards, if anything.  I am sure that they would not be happy if you took them away to a secluded island which cost a lot of money and you expected them to pay half!
 

Let Food Be The Language of Love.

*Book a table at your favorite restaurant but be aware that you may have to book several weeks in advance for popular restaurants and that your date will like the food.

*Cook a meal at home.  It does not have to be something extravagant, just something that you will both enjoy. Perhaps you could cook it together.  A few candles and some soft music will make your evening even more romantic.

*Have food delivered to your door and watch a movie.  No cooking or tidying away dirty plates after wards; more time to spend with each other.  Fill a basket with a DVD of their favorite movie, popcorn and a bottle of wine, dim the lights and settle down for a cozy night in together.

*Picnic down by the river.  If the weather turns cold or it starts to rain gather up your hamper and go back to your place to eat.  Tip: make sure that you have tidied up before you go out!

A day out at a sporting event or concert.  If you do not already know ask your Valentine if there is a particular sporting event or concert that they are interested in?  Purchase tickets in advance to avoid disappointment on the day.

A trip to the theater/cinema or opera.  Ask your Valentine if there is anything at the theatre or cinema that they would like to see and purchase tickets.  Perhaps you could go for dinner after the show.

Hot Air Balloon/Helicopter Ride.  A hot air balloon or helicopter ride is an expensive gift so make sure that your Valentine does not mind heights!  You could take him/her on a scenic trip over the city that you live in or perhaps over the countryside and then cozy up afterwards and discuss it over coffee.

A day at a health spa or pampering session.  What a nice way to make your Valentine feel special.  Take some time away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life and have some relaxing time together at a health spa.  This will need to be planned ahead particularly if you have children, you will need to find someone to look after them for you. If you do not have the time to spend a full day at a health spa you could arrange for a couple of pampering treatments.  Some beauty parlors let you pay for treatments in advance and may even provide you with a voucher to present to your Valentine on Valentines Day.
 

If you are on a tight budget or you would like to give your Valentine something unique you could try one of the following:

Homemade candles.  Kits can be bought from the craft shop and you make your own, choosing the color and scent if you wish.

Journal or Scrapbook.  Write a journal of the time that you have been together; include photographs of the two of you, postcards of places that you have visited and poems.  You can both sit down and read it and reminisce about the times that you have shared.

Compile a CD with your favorite music on.  If there are some love songs that remind you of special moments that you have shared why not compile a CD with them on.  You could also design a cover which will make it even more unique.

Whatever you decide to do I am sure that your Valentine will feel that they are the most special person in your life on the most romantic day in the year