No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want.  If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you. 

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started.  The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs.  There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs.  I don’t recommend the free sites.  The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small.  A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date. 

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself.   Now you are all set.  Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends.  You don’t want to appear that desperate.  Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you.  New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you. 

The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. Prince Charming, riding on a white stallion, lost his way or found Princess Charming and got married on his way to your castle. Get over it and get on with it. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won’t find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn’t among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is “what”.

It’s true that online dating, while in its infancy, was only made up of perverts, sexual predators, nerds and weirdoes but that is no longer true. It has become the main tool of the single person in every developed country in the world. Forty million people can’t all be wrong. Ask your girl friends if they have ever used online dating or are using it now. If they are honest with you, most of them have or are now members of at least one online dating site and maybe more than one. It really is the way to go to meet eligible men who want to meet you.

It doesn’t matter what any of your numbers are…like age, height, weight or income either. Somewhere out there in the big wide world there is a man who will like you…..then love you….and think that you are beautiful and desirable. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is true. What is considered beautiful in one part of the world is completely different from what is considered beautiful in another part of the world. It’s even different from one part of this country to another.

Find an online dating site that fits your needs. Write a great profile and post a flattering picture. Start contacting eligible men on the site. Mr. Close-enough-to-perfect could be a few mouse clicks away.

There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man.  These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him. 

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story.  His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair.  Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks.  For instance:  If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them.  He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has.  For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him.   Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen. 

Never, ever, EVER lie.  I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later.  Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles.  That is a huge mistake.  If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing.  So, just be honest.  There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are. 

Don’t be too eager.  It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off.  They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest.  I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”.  I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting.  Don’t email them or IM them too frequently.  Play it safe and play it cool. 

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work.  Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online.  All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme.  That’s not only wise but vital.  So what’s a nice guy to do?  You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo.  You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you. 

You must be patient.  Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives.  Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online.  Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face.  She will think you are desperate or a pervert.  Patience.  Patience. Patience. 

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job.  A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit.  Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one. 

A picture really is worth a thousand words.  Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots.  If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head. 

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her.  After all, you have nothing to hide.  You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you.  The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

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OK.  You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile.  You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact.  What now?  How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all?  You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is.  It would be nice if women wore labels like Gold Digger or Daddy’s girl….but they do not so it is up to you to find these things out and you can not just ask direct questions.  You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that. 

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?”  Listen carefully to her answers.  She is going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general. 

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?”  Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong. 

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?”  If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect.  If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same.  If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer.  Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas. 

Protect Your Computer.  Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):

Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com

Protect Yourself.  Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service.  How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place.  Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!